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Your Body Deserves Better: 15 Secret Lies We Tell Ourselves When Dressing

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It’s no secret that women are often hard on themselves when it comes to their appearance and the way they dress. We constantly tell ourselves lies about our clothes, our wardrobes, our closets, and our bodies. Does this sound familiar? You might even find yourself telling yourself lies like “I’ll never find something that looks good on me.” It’s time to start taking action and combatting these lies we tell ourselves! In this post, we’ll discuss 15 of the most common lies women tell themselves about their clothing and body image, as well as how to move past them in order to feel more confident and empowered.

1. “I’ll never find something that looks good on me.”

One of the most common lies we tell ourselves is that we’ll never find something that looks good on us. Whether it’s due to our body shape, skin tone, or personal style, this thought can be incredibly defeating when it comes to choosing clothes that make us feel confident and comfortable.

However, it’s important to remember that there are plenty of options out there for everyone! It might take some time and effort to find the right pieces, but they do exist. And when we do find those items that flatter our bodies and reflect our personal tastes, the feeling of satisfaction is worth the search.

2. “This was expensive, so I have to wear it.”

Have you ever found yourself holding onto a piece of clothing simply because it was expensive, even though it doesn’t fit or isn’t flattering on your body? This is a common thing that women do. They feel guilty for spending money on something they don’t wear and convince themselves that they must wear it to justify the expense.

But the truth is, keeping clothes that don’t fit or flatter your body is not doing you any favors. You’ve already spent the money. The money is gone whether you wear it or not. And actually, sometimes you can even make some money back if you decide to let it go and sell it!

But whether you sell it or not, it’s important to prioritize your comfort and confidence over the cost of an item. Wearing clothes that don’t fit properly or don’t make you feel good about yourself can have a negative impact on your self-esteem. Not to mention the guilt that you are reminded of every time you see or wear this item.

Instead of keeping these items in your closet, consider donating them to a local thrift store or selling them online. This way, someone else can enjoy them and you can feel good about passing them along.

And going forward, try to resist the urge to buy something simply because it’s expensive or on sale. Take the time to consider if it fits your body well, if it complements your personal style, and if it makes you feel confident. Remember, it’s not about the cost of the item, but how it makes you feel when you wear it.

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3. “I can’t wear this because of my body shape.”

How often have you picked out an outfit you love only to reject it because you don’t think it will flatter your body shape? It’s easy to get stuck in the mindset that certain clothing styles are only meant for certain body types, and while there is truth to this, anyone can wear any style they want, with a few modifications.

For example, if you’re petite, you might think that you can’t wear long maxi dresses or wide-leg pants because they hide your legs and they’ll make you look shorter. But with the right accessories, these styles can actually elongate your frame and make you appear taller.

Similarly, if you have a curvy figure, you might shy away from form-fitting clothing because you’re worried about highlighting your curves too much. However, embracing your curves can actually be a confidence boost, and there are plenty of styles out there that can highlight your shape in a flattering way without being too revealing.

The key to overcoming this lie is to experiment with different styles, cuts, and silhouettes until you find the version of the style that works for you.

4. “I need to dress my age.”

One of the most common lies that women tell themselves as they get older is that they need to dress a certain way based on their age. But the truth is, age should never be a determining factor in what you wear!

Yes, there is something to say about dressing age appropriately and I’m all about choosing class, but the slippery slope is when we let society’s expectations of how you should dress dictate your style.

Just because you’re a grandma doesn’t mean that you can’t show your shoulders, wear leopard print ankle boots, or shop at Madewell. You aren’t confined to orthopedic shoes and sewing your own clothes for life! (Unless you want to, of course, and in that case, I support you 100%.)

Dress for yourself and your own personal taste. As long as you feel comfortable and confident in what you’re wearing, it doesn’t matter if it’s deemed “appropriate” for your age.

Related: What is a Classy Woman? Here Are 9 Examples To Become One

5. “Who really cares how I look?”

We may think that nobody is paying attention to our outfit or appearance, so why bother putting effort into it? However, the truth is that how we present ourselves can have a significant impact on how we are perceived by others – and how we feel about ourselves.

The most obvious example is if we show up to a job interview in a wrinkled, ill-fitting outfit. The interviewer may question our professionalism and attention to detail. On the other hand, if we show up in a well-fitted suit or dress, it shows that we put effort into our appearance and take the opportunity seriously.

Even if you aren’t interviewing for a new job but are, say, just walking into a store, your appearance can inspire other people. Want to know how I know? Because I get inspired by other people. Seeing someone take the time to look nice inspires me because I want to continue to do the same.

Even more importantly, how we feel about ourselves and our appearance can affect our confidence and self-esteem. If we feel frumpy or unkempt in our outfit, it can lead to negative self-talk and insecurity throughout the day. On the flip side, if we feel confident and put together, it can lead to a more positive outlook and increased self-assurance.

So while it may feel like nobody cares how we look, people are watching and subconsciously taking notes. By taking the time to put together outfits that make us feel confident and comfortable, we can combat this lie and present our best selves to the world.

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6. “I need to look perfect all the time.”

On the flip side, it’s unhealthy to think that one, perfection exists, and two, you must achieve it. This mentality stems from society’s unrealistic beauty standards that we constantly see on social media and in magazines. But as you know, no one is perfect, and trying to achieve an unattainable level of perfection can be damaging to our mental health and self-esteem.

We often put immense pressure on ourselves to look perfect and wear the perfect clothes, but in reality, it’s important to accept and embrace our imperfections. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin. Confidence is truly the key to looking and feeling great!

Another aspect of this lie is the notion that we need to be perfectly put together all the time. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to have lazy days and not always look flawless. There’s nothing wrong with throwing on some comfy clothes and enjoying a relaxed day. This doesn’t make us any less beautiful or valuable.

The reality is that nobody is judging us as harshly as we judge ourselves. It’s time to let go of the pressure to look perfect all the time and instead embrace our flaws and imperfections.

Related: How to Embrace Your Personal Style and Not Worry What Others Think

7. “I could never wear that.”

Have you ever seen someone wearing a daring outfit or a certain style and thought, “I could never wear that”? Before we even begin the day, we limit ourselves by believing that certain styles or pieces are not meant for us.

The truth is, there is no such thing as a “perfect” outfit. What may work for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. But the next time you find yourself thinking, “I could never wear that,” challenge yourself to try it out. Take a fashion risk and step out of your comfort zone. You may be surprised at how confident and empowered you feel.

And if a certain trend or style doesn’t work for you? Don’t beat yourself up about it. In fact, give yourself a pat on the back. You tried something new!

8. “I’ll wear this when I lose weight.”

One of the biggest lies women tell themselves is that they will finally wear a certain item of clothing when they lose weight. This lie often leads to a cluttered closet and a negative body image. We have all been guilty of holding onto clothes that we hope will fit us one day. We hold onto that dress that we love but haven’t been able to wear in years, or that pair of jeans that are just a little too snug.

The problem with this mindset is that it puts our happiness and confidence on hold until we reach our desired weight. It also puts unnecessary pressure on us to lose weight, which can be unhealthy. The truth is, our bodies are constantly changing, and holding onto clothes that don’t fit just reinforces negative self-talk.

Instead of waiting to wear an outfit until we lose weight, we need to focus on finding clothes that make us feel good in the present moment. We need to be kinder to ourselves and our bodies, recognizing that we are beautiful just as we are. It’s important to focus on the positives, such as the way an outfit makes us feel confident and comfortable, rather than just focusing on the negatives, like whether it fits perfectly or not.

One way to combat this lie is to start dressing for the body we have now, not the body we want. We should prioritize comfort and confidence over size and shape. We can experiment with different styles and silhouettes to find what works best for our bodies. And, most importantly, we should let go of the pressure to fit into a certain size or look a certain way. Let’s embrace the body we have now and dress it with love and respect!

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9. “I don’t have enough money to look nice.”

You see wealthy influencers sharing certain clothes that you can’t afford and then next thing you know, you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t look nice since you don’t have a big clothing budget like them. And though that lie is convincing, it’s still just that, a lie.

Many women believe that in order to look good, they need to spend a lot of money on expensive clothes. While it’s true that higher-end clothing is usually higher quality and worth it, it doesn’t mean that you can’t look stylish on a budget.

One way to combat this lie is to focus on quality over quantity. Instead of buying a lot of cheaper clothes that won’t last long, invest in a few high-quality pieces that will stand the test of time. Look for classic, versatile pieces that can be dressed up or down and worn in a variety of ways.

Another way to save money is to shop secondhand or at thrift stores. You can find great deals on gently used clothing that is still in great condition. It’s also a more sustainable option than constantly buying new clothes.

Most importantly, get creative with your wardrobe! Mix and match different pieces to create new outfits, and experiment with different styles and accessories. You don’t need a lot of money to look great – you just need to be creative and resourceful.

Do you need help building your dream wardrobe from scratch? I created a resource for you that will help you build a classic and versatile wardrobe from beginning to end!

10. “I look ugly in that.”

How many times have you stood in front of the mirror, feeling frustrated and disheartened because you can’t find anything in your closet that makes you feel beautiful? How many times have you dismissed an outfit before even giving it a chance, convinced that you’ll look ugly in it? This negative self-talk is toxic and needs to stop!

First things first: You’re not ugly. And I know what you’re thinking, “How can you say that? You aren’t looking at me.” The truth is, I don’t need to see you to know that you are beautiful. God only creates beauty.

And second, the word, “ugly”, is damaging enough in and of itself. What’s more, we often limit ourselves and our fashion choices based on this negative self-talk. But the truth is, you are the only one who sees yourself in such a negative light. You are your own worst critic.

To combat this lie, the first thing you need to do is to stop comparing yourself to others. (Easier said than done, right?) It’s easy to look at someone else and think, “I could never pull that off,” but remember that we all have our own unique style and body type. What looks great on someone else might not look the same on you, and that’s okay. Just because it doesn’t flatter you the way you want it to doesn’t mean you are ugly.

Instead of focusing on what you think looks ugly on you, try shifting your focus to what you do like about your body. Accentuate your favorite features with clothing that makes you feel good, whether that be a bold lip color, a flowy dress that flatters your curves, or a statement accessory that draws attention to your face.

11. “I don’t have the right occasion to wear this.”

We’ve all said this at least once when staring at a gorgeous dress online or an outfit in our closet. But why do we limit ourselves by thinking we need a specific occasion to wear something we love? Sure, you may not be able to wear a sparkly cocktail dress to work, but there are still plenty of opportunities to rock it!

Why not host a fancy dinner party with your friends or create some other special occasion to wear it? The truth is, there’s always a right occasion to wear something you love – even if you have to create the occasion yourself.

You don’t have to wait for a wedding or a gala to wear that fancy dress either. Throw on a denim jacket and some sandals, and wear it out for brunch with your friends. That statement piece you’re too afraid to wear to work? Pair it with a more muted outfit and let it be the star of the show.

Don’t let the fear of standing out or being overdressed hold you back from wearing what makes you feel confident and happy. The occasion doesn’t matter as much as how you feel in your clothes. Trust me, when you feel good, it shows. And who knows? Wearing something out of the ordinary might inspire others to step out of their comfort zones as well.

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12. “I have nothing to wear.”

Ah, this is one of the most common lies we tell ourselves when we stand in front of our closet! In reality, we have plenty of clothes, but we might not know how to put them together. Or the problem is that we get stuck in a style rut, wearing the same outfits over and over again.

To combat this lie, take a step back and reassess your wardrobe. Do you need to declutter and get rid of items you no longer wear? Maybe you need to organize your closet, so you can easily see what you have and what you need. Perhaps you just need to try mixing and matching items you already own in new ways. And if all else fails, try incorporating a few new pieces to freshen up your look. But remember, you don’t need a completely new wardrobe to feel stylish and put together.

Related: Reinvent Your Wardrobe: How To Put Together Outfits With Clothes You Already Have

13. “I’ll keep this just in case I need it.”

We all have that one item in our wardrobe that we’ve been holding onto for years, just in case we need it for a special occasion. Whether it’s a cocktail dress, a blazer, or a pair of heels, we convince ourselves that it’s better to hold onto it than to get rid of it.

But the truth is, that item is probably just taking up space in your closet and causing unnecessary stress. If you haven’t worn it in the past year, chances are you won’t wear it in the future either.

The solution? Get rid of it. Donate it to a charity or sell it online. This way, someone else can enjoy it, and you can free up some space in your closet. Plus, you’ll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders knowing that you’re not holding onto something that you don’t need.

And if you do find yourself in need of something for a special occasion, there’s always the option to rent or borrow from a friend. Don’t let the fear of not having something hold you back from letting go of what you don’t need. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it.

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14. “It doesn’t matter; I’ll just wear this even though it doesn’t fit well.”

Many of us have experienced that moment of staring into our closet and settling on something that doesn’t fit quite right. Maybe it’s a dress that’s too tight or a pair of jeans that squeeze in all the wrong places. Whatever it is, we convince ourselves that it’s better than nothing and that no one will notice.

But the truth is, we’re only fooling ourselves! Wearing clothes that don’t fit properly can actually make us look worse than if we didn’t bother getting dressed at all. Clothes that are too tight can create unflattering lumps and make us feel self-conscious. Clothes that are too loose can look sloppy and unkempt.

So why do we do it? Why do we settle for ill-fitting clothes? Maybe we don’t want to admit that we’ve gained weight or maybe we don’t want to invest in a new wardrobe. Whatever the reason, it’s time to stop the cycle.

First, take an honest look at your wardrobe and assess what doesn’t fit properly. If it’s something that can be altered, take it to a tailor or try your hand at some DIY alterations. If it’s something that can’t be fixed, it’s time to let it go.

Moving forward, invest in clothes that fit well. This doesn’t mean you have to break the bank – there are plenty of affordable options out there. Wearing clothes that fit properly can boost your confidence and make you feel great about yourself. So next time you’re tempted to settle for something that doesn’t fit, remind yourself that you deserve better.

15. “I’m too fat to wear anything nice.”

This is one of the most damaging lies women tell themselves about their bodies. It’s a common belief that being overweight means you can’t dress fashionably or stylishly. But the truth is, every woman can look fabulous – no matter their size!

It’s important to recognize that your body size and shape should not limit your fashion choices. There are countless options available to women of all shapes and sizes, and there are more size-inclusive brands now than ever. Embrace your curves and find styles that flatter your body type. Don’t hide behind baggy clothing or feel like you have to settle for unattractive outfits just because you’re not a certain size.

Another way to combat this lie is to challenge societal beauty standards. We’re bombarded with images of thin, toned models in magazines and advertisements, but the reality is that these standards are unrealistic and unattainable for most women. Don’t let these images make you feel like you’re not good enough. Instead, embrace your unique beauty and recognize that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to fashion and style.

Related: How To Dress Well While Losing Weight and Look Ultra Stylish While You’re In-Between Sizes

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When to Seek Professional Help

It’s important to note that struggling with negative body image and self-esteem issues is a common experience for many women. However, when these feelings become overwhelming and begin to interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek professional help.

If you find yourself constantly preoccupied with negative thoughts about your body, or if your self-esteem issues are causing you to avoid social situations or interfere with your relationships, it’s important to speak with a healthcare professional. They can provide support, guidance, and resources to help you overcome these negative thought patterns and learn to love yourself for who you are.

It’s important to remember that seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a brave step towards self-improvement and a healthier mindset. So don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it!

You’re well on your way to feeling more confident with your wardrobe. Want even more tips? Keep reading: 7 Ways To Feel More Confident With Your Wardrobe – Starting Today


Founder and editor of My Chic Obsession, Carolyn is your trusted fashion maven. Carolyn's drive to help others achieve a classic and timeless wardrobe fuels her posts, making mychicobsession.com a go-to resource for style seekers worldwide. Beyond the wardrobe, she resides in the heartland of the Midwest, dreaming up new ideas and raising her two lively boys - her biggest fashion critics.